35: netherland

I just finished Joseph O'Neill's Netherland, and I can honestly say that I have no idea what all the fuss was about. My bagel at lunchtime was more interesting. (My bagel was very interesting, in fact; both guacamole and humous were shoved in there - a taste sensation.) I found the language unbearably heavy, laden with all sorts of overblown descriptions that only made me think O'Neill was showing off and putting in every metaphor that ever occurred to him, because, hey, he could! Too many words, dude... I thought the characters were really wooden, didn't care what happened to the narrator or his uninteresting wife, and as for the other guy, Chuck, well, I wanted to skip pages to be done with him, and in the last fifty pages I just kept thinking, stop stop stop how could there be more make it stop. Etc.

So clearly the key to writing a critically acclaimed tome that also sells well, is to write something godawfully dull.


I've had no tea today; perhaps it shows. Interesting bagels alone do not suffice. To the kettle!

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