22: pygmy

I've got a short piece up at The Pygmy Giant today.


That's kind of it.

21: wolves

Crispin - hey Crispin! - has a thing of mine up on For Every Year - I hereby represent 1450, which took place some time before I was born. Creepy.

20: sixes and sevenses

Here is a Six that I've got on the interweb today, and here are seven amazing facts about me that Crispin has demanded. Go!
  1. I used to work in a factory where my job was to put little things called 'hole-tights' in holes in circuit-boards to make the 'holes' on the circuit-boards 'tighter'. We weren't allowed to walk on any bit of the factory floor that was carpeted, because we weren't important enough.

  2. I could live off popcorn and toast if I tried.

  3. Children can't pronounce my name and one boy's best attempt was 'Battery'.

  4. An old German man also pronounced it 'Celery.'

  5. Two of my neighbours think I'm called Betty and it's gone on too long to set them straight.

  6. I hate cheese.

  7. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Pass it on, pass it on, people on the internet:

Brian Griffin
Rosalind Haslett
Xander Harris
Hans Moleman
Pope Benedict XVI
The Onion
Richard Dawkins

(8. I don't know very many people with blogs. I do know one of those people but I bet she won't see this)

19: cheers

Ho ho ho! Merry everyone! Good Christmas haul?

The most surprising thing I've gotten today was this, from my mother, bless her, who seems to have used her initiative this year, depsite my repeatedly begging her never to think for herself when it comes to buying me reading material. I even wrote her a list and sent it directly to her via the magical email pixies, setting out in numbered order of preference things I'd very much like to own, but no, mother knows best.

So, back to celebrating Santa's birthday. First past the brandy butter gets the treasure. Really.

18: interview!

Chris Killen interviewed me - check it out, I describe a cat, amongst other wonderful things. Chris's book, The Bird Room, will be out in January.

17: rebecca!

Three massive cheers for Rebecca, my classmate from the days of yore, who's getting very professional and directing her first feature film next year. (Daly, are you reading this? - PUBLICITY!! At least one other person might read this!) Her last film was great (though obviously not a patch on the one I edited for her in university which will one day re-emerge and wow the world and make all our fortunes) and she's been living it up in Paris too, courtesy of Cannes and extreme talent, so everyone look out for her. (Rebecca, if you're the only one that sees this, keep a sharp eye out for yourself...)

16: car car car

Today we hired a car for the weekend and the novelty of driving to the shop was IMMENSE. I'm looking forward to Sat Nav Robot guiding me about the country tomorrow. WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, IDIOT?! etc. But probably it'll be quite polite even if we get ridiculously lost. The last time I drove to a far-afield place (drove? me? no, somebody else drove, my life skills at the age of 28 are awful) instead of ending up at our temporary workplace we pulled up outside Legoland. Maybe my homing instincts are those of a six year old boy. It would explain my fondness for alphabet spaghetti. If anyone in the Bedford region overhears a TomTom having a nervous breakdown on Sunday afternoon, y'all say hi now.

(No writing news - submissions are happening; replies are not.)

15: Dogmatika

I finished the story I've been working on for the past couple of weeks, and sent it off, but I won't hear anything back on that for ages and ages and ages and ages. I will however have a story in the next Dogmatika (thanks Susan!) which is good, but in the meantime, gotta get my thinking cap on and get writing, seeing as the next couple of weeks will probably be lazy and full of alcohol, and all work will grind to a halt. Holidays!

14: friday!

Thank Crunchie. I'm watching Batman Returns, and planning a very long sleep tonight. Two duvets grace the bed these nights, which makes up for the horribly seasonal cold weather. I'm trying to finish a story but Batman isn't helping. Here's the opening lines (of the story, not Batman):

Every weekday morning, at six-thirty, hat down, gloves long, with double socks and a fag, he circles the park. I can't remember when he first appeared.

I just need all the other lines now.

13: progress

I've got something coming up on 6S in a few weeks - hurrah - and I spent far too much time today fiddling about in a half-assed incompetent manner with HTML on Blogger. This'll do for now. And that's about all for today, folks.

12: Sad Aftermath

Aargh; the poor old day job is endangered. Hence the writing has been on a little hiatus, but hopefully I'll get some pieces together in the next while and wait for the internet to pass judegement. On my marks.

10: Quiet

I sent off an entry for this a few days ago - gotta love the shady non-specific mention of an indeterminate 'cash-prize'. So now I need something else to keep me busy. I've tried this but it made me feel waaay too murderous.

9: Six More

I've got something on 6S Ning today, and I won a bottle of wine at a pub quiz last night, so all's GOOD.

8: Hmm

Lionel Shriver has a few notions that sound somewhat ill-considered. And Crispin says goodbye to the Big Crab today. So long, Big Crab.

7: Success!

Pequin emailed me today to accept a story I sent them only yesterday - cue much excitement. They'll have it up in late January. Feeling a little giddy...

6: Report

Today I have mostly been writing about wolves and pondering postal issues.

5: 1440

Here I am again, having served my commission. Having commissed? Hmm. Gilles, he has served me well.

4: Get Me!

I have a commission! But I won't be joining the army or mafia, and the European Union won't have me in their executive branch. More's the pity. I better not mess this up, or the internet's affections will cool off.

3: DIY

And not to forget this sad story.

2: 9 Things

Wufniks loves me, and I love them!

1: 6S

One publication closer to world domination. Thanks, Robert!



The Monkeys in Love Will Pet and Cuddle You in The Ilanot Review.
The Lovely Phelan Ladies on the Ether Books app for iPhone or Android users.
Three stories in FRiGG
The Smell of Elsewhere in Metazen
Extra Time in Flash365
Pure Dirt (novel extract) in Beat The Dust
The Runt in Storyglossia
Rock-A-Bye in the Spilling Ink Review
Consequences on the National Short Story Day website
Magic Mirror in Bugged
extinction in elimae
Hear That Song in Flatmancrooked
The Explosion of Josiah Bounderby in Litro
How Do You Play? in The Battered Suitcase
Ready, Set in the Northville Review
The Girl In The Glass in PANK, and here in the Chamber Four Anthology
A House, A Home in Every Day Fiction
Closed Circuit in Ink, Sweat and Tears
Number Five Goes For A Ride in Pequin
King Of Hearts in For Every Year
Gooch St in Dogmatika 
Johannes Gutenberg... (also here) in For Every Year
Reunion in The Pygmy Giant
7 Stages Leading to Predatory Wolf Attacks in For Every Year
Post-Mortem in Six Sentences
Bright Side in Six Sentences
Beta Bluebeard in For Every Year
Do It Yourself in Six Sentences
9 Things: Dead Fish in Wufniks
Oh Baby in Six Sentences

Print (still in the process of updating this list, sorry!)

Turbulence in Quickies
Enough in Exposure
Magic Mirror in Bugged